The whole world needs God. Our sin says so.

We think our sin is good for us because it feels good.

But why doesn’t it last? why does it bring consequences we weren’t looking for when we first tried it? We didn’t want these consequences, we just wanted to the original thing that satisfied us. We just want the things that are appetizing, not everything that comes with it. 

C.S. Lewis taught me that the reason why I desire my sin is because Sin is perverted form of goodness. 

and it makes sense. 

Sin makes the “desired thing” easier. But when I take this short cut I also take on other baggage that comes with it. 

For example, sex isn’t sin. Sex outside of marriage is sin. Money isn’t sin, it’s when I worship and value money more than God, that it becomes sin. Entertainment isn’t sin, but when I go to television, video games, movies, etc. to escape from the “realities of this world”, I create an idol. God should be my escape. Alcohol isn’t a sin, it’s what I do with the alcohol that makes me sin-along with leading others to stumble. 

Sin is a shortcut to everything God intended to be good for us.

The problem is that sin doesn’t last forever. Eventually it has to end, and so I become dependent on it, and keep returning to it, or look for greater forms of it; sometimes regardless the baggage it comes with.

Sin becomes our Idol whenever the answer to the following questions is something other than God: The thing we long for the most, the thing we can’t live without, the thing that can help us escape from the reality of this world, the one thing your lifestyle says you live for, the one thing that gets us angry when we don’t have it, etc.

So what then is the answer if sin never satisfies as long as we want it to, always takes us farther than we wanted to go, never keeps it promises, disappoints, gets old after a while, leaves us wanting more of something else, and leaves us feeling emptier than when we first entered it?

The only practical answer lies in something that is greater than this world. 

God not only claims he can be everything we need. Not only did Jesus say he could give us water that would finally quench our thirst. But he promises the things we truly want. Love, Peace, Joy, Patience, Kindness, Gentleness, and self-control- all things we strive to find in life. Along with that, he promises to remind us that Justice will be served on the day of judgement; and all the evil we have encountered in this world will finally be dealt with. 

A hope and a future. Isn’t that what we all try to live for?

No idol, or sin, is promising me that. They just blind me with a temporary fix-only the fix leaves me emptier than when I started. Eventually I will come to grasps that this isn’t what I signed up for -Rock bottom. 

Only God can give me joy in any circumstance. Only he can make a life worth living. 

And why does this world not resemble that? Because Satan roams free. Can I be mad at God for that? No. Because I don’t want to be a robot forced to love. I want to choose Love. And this is not God’s way of life for me; Heaven is.

And even though these short 75 (if even that) years are full of pain, God has eternity in heaven to make it up to me.

“You only live once.” …Not with God. With God you live twice and the second life is the going to be the life that my sin says I am longing for.

A quote from C.S. Lewis-“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” 

I love every single one of my friends dearly. But I wish I had people to hang out with who would be willing to go to borders and do nothing but walk through the aisles, pick out book, and read for a few hours. I want a library in my house.

If only I would take my eyes off of myself and see the depth of pain I put You through..

You love me through my complaints..But do I with You? when say you are Jealous for me? When you say that you Miss me? When You feel neglected?

My pain already falls under my own category of unbearable; Which causes me to not look to You. Because I know either the guilt, or conviction, or hurt I put You through, is too much for me take; and I really don’t want to break. Because to break means to hurt.

But I break daily at the hand of life’s daily consequences; at the hand of my own choices.

I’m complaining about not being able to see, but I’m still refusing to open my eyes; it hardly makes sense.

But I am blessed.

Because I am aware that they are closed-and not blind. At least I know it’s my choice to keep my eyes closed, or open them.

There is a way to see You, along with myself, and not be terrified with what I see. I would rather be told “open your eyes, I can fix everything you hate seeing. I can give you what you’re missing” than “Surprise…your not blind, and I’m sorry, but you chose to believe a lie and keep your eyes closed.”

What am I more afraid of?

To hurt now? when You have eternity to make it up to me? Along with promises that tell me that You will never leave me, and that the storm will end soon?

Or when I stand before You? and I realize that I wasn’t blind after all? but I had a choice; and now this short life has left me with eternity to reckon with?

When will the pain hurt me enough to open my eyes? when will I finally listen? surrender? give in? When will I realize I have no say in life? When will I finally admit, I need you? When will I finally take my eyes off of myself, and look to You? 

I pray before it’s too late, Jesus.

When my eyes fall on you, they will forget the pain it took to get them open. 

You’re not just worth it, You’re the only chance I have; the only ticket out of here.

Help me not close my eyes when I see pain upon arrival, but let me break willingly; because I wont need a Saviour, unless I need to be saved from something.

“I’m coming back to the heart of worship, and it’s all about you, all about you Jesus”

Lately God has been giving me revelation on what the heart of a worshipper is. And through self-evaluation through the eyes of scripture, I’ve come to realize that worship is all about response. 

My heart needs to respond to who God is more than how I connect with the “art” of worship, or even what I get out of worship. It needs to simply respond and declare the Holiness, Greatness, Almighty, Beauty, Power, Love, Mercy, & Grace of God. To simply respond and say, “This is what you mean and who you are to me.” And even though the art of worship helps me get there, I need to be in a state of mind/worship where my heart can jump to praise God and lift Him up for who He is, and what He has done in my life, regardless of how I’m feeling, my mood, or my surroundings. 

Music, singing, lights, stages, organs, pianos, drums, guitars, buildings, voices, dances, shouts, banners, videos, etc. are all what help me get my heart to respond to the wonders of God. The issue with worship isn’t that there is a problem with the tools-the music, singing, lights, stages, organs, pianos, drums, guitars, buildings, voices, dances, shouts, banners, videos, etc, it’s that my heart doesn’t want to go there, and I focus on and critique the tools. But if I truly believe Him, and in what He says, my heart should jump for joy in response, regardless of what I see, hear, or say/sing. My goal should be to be able to respond in worship even if I’m blind, mute, or deaf- unconditional worship.

Because I am saved and loved by a savior who saved me from myself- my own sin. He gave me life.

How can my heart not respond after being given life when it was once dead?

God wants my heart. My life. Not because He’s selfish, but because He knows I don’t know what’s best for me, and He does. 

I root and scream for my favorite team. I dress up in their colors and parade around the city to display to the world how proud I am of them and how happy they make me.

I give standing ovations to musical pieces and plays that move my heart.

I give tears to people that stir my heart, whether through conviction, or because they make me feel good about myself. 

I dance at parties because I am happy. I dance when no one is looking because it makes me feel good. I dance because it’s who I am.

Is “who I am” in my worship?

God says, “I want worship from your heart” “I want you to be honest and let your response be genuine” 

When revelation of what Jesus went through for me is revealed to my heart, I can’t help but be moved to the point of tears. Death always brings tears; and someone died for me. I don’t deserve that. I can’t help but feel unworthy, and spoiled and happy all at the same time. It’s like if someone gave me $10000000. I would be a ball of emotions, and mess. I would be so happy that I would dance- all night long. I would tell the world about how great this person is. I would make a t-shirt and wear it all the time. I would talk about that person to everyone I came across, I would remember that person every night and morning. I would probably write a song or two and share them on itunes. Why? My question is why not? We praise things and give worship to things that do so much less for us.

Only I wasn’t given money. Because money corrupts good character, and eventually leaves you thinking you need more; regardless of how much of it you have.

I was given something that I would never run out of. I was given a water that causes me to thirst no more. I was given food that satisfies. I was given the things money can’t buy- faith, hope, and love. And I can’t help but respond and shout for joy, cheer for how good He is. And celebrate with the rest of the crowd who has found this great treasure. My life has been changed. I was once dead and now given life. My heart, my life, my worship, which are all the same thing, should say that more than any word of mine ever could. 

“Lord, I want to yearn for you, I want to burn with passion, and over you, only you, Lord I want to Yearn”

Anonymous asked: If you could live anywhere in the world, with anyone in the world, where would it be and who with?

As far as my current life? 

Well I love the east coast, but I am very happy where I am. 

So since I’m going to be married in a few months, I would say in 3 months, live somewhere in either Monterey or Marina, or even S Salinas with my wife. =)

I move in phases. 

I move in leaps. 

I move in bounds. 

I come to learn something about myself; I love to take my time. 

This however, is contrary to how I normally feel. I will usually feel rushed, or racing through things.But another lesson I learned is that the “me” in my thoughts will differ at times, if not all the time, from the “me” in the flesh. 

Based on my circumstances lately, Life has been flying by- Faster than the planes outside my window preparing for the AirShow this weekend. I will be married in roughly 3 months. Jimany Crickets! or is it Christmas? 

This morning I felt as though it was going by too slow; Oldest turtle in the world Slow. Now I want to go back in a time machine so I can “Take my time.”

But where did my time go? I guess that’s where I go from bound to bound. I picture Superman (not that I think of myself as Superman or anything) jumping from Crisis to Crisis and helping all those in need. But because I like to relax within my “Crisis’” I somehow don’t get to the next one with enough time, slowly becoming the oldest turtle in the world. 

But is it worth it? I think so. Fact of the matter is, I am not Superman. Shocking I know. Just kidding. But seriously. Wait… what just happened? 

I’m reading this book titled Mansions of the Heart. In it, the Author is trying to get the reader, being me, to understand what spirituality is; along with Prayer, Worship, Intimacy, etc. All of the big ones..

I love the answers so far though. Because a lot of them are things that I am currently not doing. I don’t say that to come across as a “Falling away Christian,” but to be real and say that even those who make some pretty impressive “Bounds” can fall short at times. To be relatable and find it difficult to comprehend a love and relationship that doesn’t fit into the demographic of this earth. Especially when my only experiences with such things, are with earthlings. No Offense…. 

But God is bigger than an emotion, a feeling, a voice, a song, a prayer, an action, a word, an explanation.

He is bigger than ME… and I’m the biggest thing in My world.

I’m simply saying that God is too  simple for my complicated life understand. However; the first thing I have learned, is that I will never see beautiful detail if I am going so fast that everything is a blur. So for this present moment, God….I’m standing still okay? 

My entire future will be a memory one day.

My Entire life will be a memory before I know it.

Instead of looking forward, or looking back, I want to be here….now. I want to be in this present moment. 

I have learned that the only thing, that can stop me in my tracks, is the Lover of my Soul.

Interrupting me with the Beauty of Simplicity, and the Orchestra of Silence. Some things that are oh so very strange and uncomfortable.. So foreign in this world they almost seem alien-like. Yet still most impactful, that He can turn my world upside-down…leaving me right-side up.

Leaving me right where I belong: with You, and You alone. 

Anonymous asked: who do you write your songs for? the ones in the beg? girl? friends?

I guess it depends on the song. Is there one in specific you are referring to? Some are about girls, others about God, some myself, others on simply observation. 

You continue to show me and teach me new things. 

I really don’t know how to do it anything, let alone do it all. 

I am more wrong than I am right, and for that, I am so greatly thankful. 

If everything turned out the way I wanted it to be, than I would be no one. This world doesn’t give me identity, It tells me what Im not. Im too this, or too that, not this enough, not that enough, It only provokes me to compare myself with people whom I always lose to. Only You tell me Im good enough.

I would be alone because I am afraid of people hurting me; So distance is my solution. Only You follow me into my deepest holes to find me.

I would never accomplish anything in this life because I simply do not have the self esteem or confidence in myself to do so. I am bigger critic of myself than I am a encourager. Only You love the unlovable in me.

And I would never grow. Because growing requires growing pains; and pain is something I am constantly running away from. Only You justify the pain it takes to get there. 

Thank you for proving me wrong. I mean it.